You’re cool together – but do friends see it that way? Or does your canceling on them, posting updates on your coupledom, and OTT PDAs drive them crazy? Get a grip on bad couple habits.
You won’t go anywhere without him.
The two of you an item. Great. But conjoined twins? Grating! When friends invite you out don’t always ask if you can bring your man – or worse, assume you can and bring him anyway. Especially if it was to be a GF fest of pedis, pizzas, and Orange is The New Black. However much they like him (and chances are they do, if he makes you happy), sometimes friends want to see only you.
Me-time is as important as we-time. It’s essential to develop your own interests, alone or with friends, or you risk losing yourself and not having a separate identity, which you’re likely to regret later in life. Besides, with separate interests there’s always something more to talk about – and time apart give you a chance to miss each other.
You constantly talk about him and your relationship.
You love him, so you love talking about him. Friends get that. But when you make every conversation about him, STFU.
Turning every topic to you and your man will bore and annoy others – even hurt them, if they’re not in good relationships or places in their own life. It can also signal insecurity, because you have an unconscious need to convince yourself how blissful your relationship is – or prove it to others.
You constantly post about him and your relationship.
Lovey-dovey messages are best shared as pillow talk or lipstick messages on the bathroom mirror. Others can find them icky, and if you break up, they can come back to haunt you. As for constant Facebook status updates, these go from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘it’s complicated,’ back to ‘single,’ and back again, riding the endless relationship rollercoaster.
The most precious moments in a relationship are ones nobody else knows about. While some partners get a kick out of your public declarations of affection and admirations, others may be embarrassed – even smothered – sensing you’re trapping them into commitment.
You push the PDAs
Holding hands and slipping an arm around each other sometimes can be cute – but going around like that can constitute a pedestrian traffic construction, and major irritation. Clutching each other’s butt, smooching, and other more overt public displays of affection can make friends (and strangers) uncomfortable, especially those with certain cultural or religious leanings.
PDAs can signal exhibitionism or egoism or more likely, insecurity. While some are genuine expressions of love, others are telling others, “That’s my man”.
You argue on public.
The only thing worse than loving it up in public is lashing out there. You may enjoy the drama and the make-up sex later, but it’s awkward for friends – especially if they’re asked to take sides.
Differences should be addressed in private, openly, honestly and calmly as possible – not in public, where it can become more about points-scoring, as well as being embarrassing to your partner.
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